Did your parents have a saying that you swore you would never repeat when you became a parent?  You know, one of those phrases that always seemed to come up at the most irritating time.  My mother had a few of them.  The one in particular that irritated me the most was “patience is a virtue.”  I guess it really bothered me because patience was something that I was totally lacking when I was a teenager.  I made a promise to myself that I would never say that to my kids once I became a parent.

As I got older, I began to understand the wisdom in my mother’s words and that I was still in great need of this virtue that she had tried to instill in me.  As my walk with the Lord has strengthen over time, I have found greater degrees of patience as God has transformed me to be more like Jesus.  I sure can’t take any of the credit because when I find myself going my own way instead of God’s way, my patience evaporates!

When I became a parent, I knew that I had to find a way to relate this wisdom to my kids, but I could not bring myself to use my mother’s exact words.  I guess that’s a little bit of teenage rebellion that hasn’t quite left me yet.  So, how was I to do this?  I decided to come up with my own saying to irritate my kids.  Oops, I mean to instruct them.  My kids will always remember the phrase “It builds character.”

As a teenager, I never consciously, fully caught on to what my mother was really trying to tell me.  What was the purpose of being patient other than staying out of trouble?  What she really meant was to persevere through the situation and not sin while you are doing it so that the experience makes you a better person.  That’s the gist of what I mean when I tell my kids “It builds character.”

The Apostle Paul said this very thing in verses 3 and 4 of chapter 5 in his letter to the Romans: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”  James elaborates on this in verses 2 through 4 of the first chapter of his book: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

My kids will be happy to know that my mother’s words still echo in my head when I find myself in a frustrating situation.  My own words to them even come back to me at those times so I have two catchy phrases to be convicted by.  Both phrases remind us of a good Biblical lesson we should learn through the tough times of life, but maybe my kids will just stick with the phrase “It builds character” with their children.  That way, they’ll only have one annoying (but needed) phrase to deal with.

Steve Jernigan

Advertisement